Family

Uncle Jon watches the TV through binoculars. Refuses to get his eyes checked. He used to write pretty funny Christmas letters—despite the sprinkling of a couple racist quips—before he lost his sight and decided he couldn’t write anymore.

Carry’s mother just smiles peacefully during conversations. She can’t hear a damn thing. Sometimes her hearing aids emit a super-high-pitched ring that has everyone around her squinching their faces up wondering what they hell it is.

Tito Anthony has gout. I’m not sure what gout is, but it doesn’t sound good. One time, after a check-up and battery of tests, they found some cancer in his back and started radiation treatments. The guy loves his wine and cigarettes and refuses to give them up.

Ellen has an electrode inserted into her back and she can press a button on a remote to activate it when she’s feeling pain. Apparently, it helps her. She also travels with an oxygen tank.

Martha is riddled with arthritis and gets this thing called shingles on occasion. I have no idea what that might be. She constantly talks about her aches, pains, diet and her doctors. She may have made her many illnesses a hobby.